I recently saw an online post where a woman was
flabbergasted that her son fell for a 300-400lb woman. She could not wrap her
head around the fact that her son was eventually going to sleep with this woman
and there was a " How can anyone be attracted to that ?!" attitude.
She wasn't
kind, she wasn't open minded. In fact she was outright brutal. But she was
honest.
My
personal view of myself runs from " I guess I am a cute cuddly panda
bear" to "Holy crap I need to have less mirrors in this bedroom of
mine ! I am a f*cking beast! " and just wanting to hide forever .. Either way the small jaunt to
the shower proves interesting via it's reflection.
However I know
that regardless of weight I would still rip myself apart. I love when a woman
sincerely owns it. I never got there, but I think they are right and I am
wrong. Who is anyone to judge and assume anything. What gives anyone the right
to say what is or is not attractive. The flesh is not the soul.
I suppose
men do this too when the hair starts to thin a bit... it's that disease of
"popular opinion" , the marketing , the pressure.
The signs
of "aging" or simply "falling from grace" are customarily
wrapped up in tight skin, flat stomachs and perfect white teeth. In other words
“youth” with some perfection mixed in. God forbid real life happens. And since
we are living human beings, it will. Meds will affect us, insulin resistance,
disease, trauma, stress it will come for us one after the other in due time. No
one has a flawless life that affords them eternal beauty and health. Not even
Cher, although she admittedly hit the gene pool jackpot. And I find it darkly hysterical that all these broken less than perfect people can always feel so confident in judging anyone of size. People who wouldn't pass their own expectations and demands...
The expectations out there it turns on us all. If
you let it….
We are
taught that looks mean so much. Many people fall for the idea of someone. They shun who could be a soulmate because their
friends may not approve. Where does the obsession with looks leave us?! ALONE,
or in less than relationships we
never quite feel comfortable admitting. How many people "settle" or
put up with a lot because they don't want to be alone?!
So maybe
this guy just saw a beautiful soul and woman
and her 400lbs figure meant nothing to him. What if he listened to his mother
?! Would he end up marrying some trophy wife and divorced 5 years later taken
down a few pegs?! Just to please a standard?!
I can only
hope this 400lb lady has a strong backbone and can find something to enjoy
about her mother in law. How this man’s mother can only see fat instead of
someone who makes her sons life better is beyond me and sad. But it happens, I
haven’t been anything but a “weight” to many since the late 80’s.
#sizeactivism #bbw #plussizebloggers #Motherinlaws #weightissues #sizism #fat #blogs #writing #cynipoeti
It's weird about size. And beauty. I look at myself these days and know that the definition ov beauty no longer applies go me, whether fat or thin. I am a woman ov a "certain age" at this point in my existence. But I know I used to be beautifyl. But I was "fat" by the standards ov the day (teenager in the 70s and in my 20s in the 80s). I loved being who I was in those times and I had many lovers. Yet none really wanted to be SEEN w/me. This is true. I couldn't doo anything to change what was back then, but what I can doo now is just embrace who I am, now. In fact, that's what I'm doing. Sometimes and more often than not, life is super difficult. It was then--more emotionally and it is now, more physically. But I have to embrace who I am. I am the only person that I ever will be. I think it's a shame that the mom is so outraged. I ghink a lot ov ppl are judgmental. I know a lot ov ppl want to be able to control something in their lives, b/c living has become heartbreaking.but judging someone for their very being is not cool. And judging her son for loving whomever, isn't about the sin, it's about her and what she wants to control.
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting! I agree control is a major issue in this blaming and shaming culture. I actually included this in the latest entry posted above. It does too much damage.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had lovers who didn't want to be seen with you . I have had people not want to be seen with me , but also being with an FA is just as odd. Why size has anything to do with major decisions in peoples lives is just... a mystery to me other than "conditioning" , "fear" and yes control. But I could never do it myself.
I am not in my 20's anymore. I have a hard time with al the changes, to be honest my head is still on spin at the hormone stuff... I am not prepared for MORE hormone stuff.
We are who we are , considered beautiful or not... we are US. So lets celebrate being alive and planting or crafting or writing or being on the radio.. anything we do is a footprint! XO