Paper copyright 2020 Written by Cyni Poeti

I will never be your Queen
Your rose of perfection
Every flaw cracks and bleeds down the flesh mountainside
The indifference holds hands with your disgust
Billboard of screaming teeth ripped from their gums
Messages on deaf ears
Because I am not manipulative curves in fabric
Enjoy your bath of plastic softening under the heat of lies
I know my loneliness is the mirror, the predictor
Walk into your glitter
Wander along the past
I am fading into a ghostly star
Of never claimed
All the running on pavement
Breaks my ankles under her perfection
The flawlessness of promises in jagged edge packages
Predicting the piano keys of teething.

* a revised poem , and still rough draft.
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I don't think I can watch the news. I admittedly have my weird self inflicted rules on things.. my comfort level. I tried to bond with Dad and be (grown up) by trying to "learn" the things I will only basically skim normally... News, Politics, etc
It's been a reminder of WHY I don't get into all of this. I had dreams about Covid -19 all night.. And now read there is fat phobia in with it.. All I can think of was the movie with Shelley Winters called "Wild in the streets" . So instead of being productive and making art and having a good quality day I slept it away in fear, disgust and depression. I'll gladly go back to living in LA LA Land and going on with my mantra from the Breakfast club , The Quote " When you grow up your heart dies!". I will gladly stay a child in some ways rather than live in a world I am ashamed of and will never comprehend.